JimNavy.com

A Petty Officer Second Class, a First Class, and a Chief are off the ship together for lunch. While crossing a park they come upon an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, “I can only grant three wishes, so I can give each of you just one.”

“Me first!” says the Petty Officer Second Class. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, a beautiful woman at my side and not a care in the world.” Poof! He’s gone.

“Me next!” says the First Class. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas, and a beautiful woman.” Poof! He’s gone too.

“You’re next,” the Genie says to the Chief. The Chief cracks a nasty smile and says, “I want those two idiots back on the ship and turning-to, right after lunch.”

A Navy Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him, “Get over here! What’s your name sailor?”

Seaman: “John”

Chief: “Look, I don’t know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they’re teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority.”

Chief: “I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, whatever. And you are to refer to me as CHIEF. Do I make myself clear?”

Seaman: “Aye, Aye Chief!”

Chief: “Now that we’ve got that straight, what’s your last name?”

Seaman sighed: “Darling. My name is John darling, Chief.”

Chief: “Okay John, here’s what I want you to do …..”