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You know when you’ve been at sea too long

During training exercises, the Ensign who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another jeep stuck in the mud with a red-faced Lt. Commander at the wheel. ‘Your jeep stuck, sir?’ asked the Ensign as he pulled alongside. ‘Nope,’ replied the Lt. Commander, coming over and handing him the keys, ‘Yours is.’

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A Sailor sent an e-mail to his wife, informing her that his ship would be returning from deployment a day early. Arriving home, he found his wife with another man. Upset, he stormed off and got a room at the Navy Lodge to decide what to do next. His thoughts were interrupted by a call from his mother-in-law.

“Bill” she said, “I checked with my daughter and, as I expected, there is a perfectly good explanation for this whole episode.”

“This I’ve got to hear,” the Sailor said.

“It was an honest mistake,” the mother-in -law said. ” She never got your e-mail!”

A defense contractor finally succeeded in building a computer capable of solving the most complex naval warfare problems. The top Navy brass assembled around the new machine and were instructed to feed a difficult tactical problem into it. They described a complex hypothetical battle situation to the computer and then asked the pivotal question, “Should our forces attack or retreat?”

The computer hummed and beeped for about an hour, and finally printed out an answer, “Yes.”

The admirals stared at each other, mystified by the response.

Finally, one of them submitted a second request to the computer, “Yes what?”

The computer responded instantly, “Yes, Sir!”